Validating emotions bbwpersonalsonlinedating
When I expressed an awkward feeling, he would get kind of an internal look and say "Oh!
" like he suddenly felt the same thing or remembered feeling a similar feeling.
Feelings are real, even when the causes don't make sense to another person.
" I'm also saying, "You should not feel sad." While my impulse may be kind, it's actually dismissive. When I stopped "fixing it" and participated in his world, I let him feel that I truly understood his feelings.
In fact, if there is a communication breakdown, if there is a wall between you and someone else, it probably has been built with the bricks of When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. By validating someone we demonstrate that we care and that their feelings matter to us-- in other words, that they matter to us.
We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. By "mirroring" someone's feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them.
I love her so much too -- sometimes I really miss her." "Yah," affirmed Max, now snuggling close to me. She could hold you close, and we could all squeeze into your little bed.
And we'd just have a lovely snuggle." Suddenly, Max changed gears and spoke in his "you-silly-Daddy voice" -- "But my bed isn't big enough." When I gave into the impulse to "solve" the situation by telling Max the facts, I was forgetting (again) that facts are not relevant to the emotional brain.