Sex and dating between white men and black women
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As such, fetishization and sexualization in interracial relationships is wrong.
Since then, I’ve realized that I’m no longer looking at white men as romantic prospects. The fact is, all of these things are pieces of my cultural baggage, which is something many of the women and men of colour I know also have. Healthy relationships require a mutual give and take, and space for empathy.
I can’t count the number of times we’ve sat around a dinner table swapping stories and asking each other: When do you tell them? But in my experience, dating a white guy often leads to an automatic imbalance.
Last summer, I was on a date with a 20-something man we’ll call Trent. I had been explaining how my parents met and married through an arrangement, something that’s common in South Asian culture.
At first, conversation flowed—we talked careers, food, travel, friends, family. He didn’t quite follow, which is understandable, so I tried to explain: “It’s a cultural tradition.” “They define love and marriage differently than the American way.” “It may not be for you or me, but it was for them,” etc.