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Because here’s the kicker: Sarah is Asian-American. Mine came from mainland China.“If things don’t work out,” she said, “would it hurt your confidence? It’s shockingly common to come across profiles that say, “Sorry, no Asians.”Maybe Asian men need better representation.When I was growing up, there were no mainstream movies like “Crazy Rich Asians” putting a spotlight on attractive Asian leading men.By choosing “I agree” below, you agree that NPR’s sites use cookies, similar tracking and storage technologies, and information about the device you use to access our sites to enhance your viewing, listening and user experience, personalize content, personalize messages from NPR’s sponsors, provide social media features, and analyze NPR’s traffic.This information is shared with social media services, sponsorship, analytics and other third-party service providers. One thing was clear, though: As I heard the click of the door opening — the door that would shut me out of her life — I realized I was mistaken about me having enough confidence for both of us. Many months later, after more dates, kisses and moments of vulnerability over stinky tofu, we decided to get married. 31, 2019, we will be tying the knot in my home state.Sarah thought she knew how she wanted her life to play out.

I had never connected so deeply in one date as I had with her and felt thwarted by forces beyond my control. We’re made to confront our preferences and prejudices, whether they be about appearance, race, body shape, intelligence or anything else. Then, almost as quickly as she had stepped away, she turned around and, with a sly smile, planted another kiss on my lips.From discussing the five love languages during dinner to telling stories about our exes at Coit Tower, we didn’t even notice that we had traversed four San Francisco neighborhoods and logged 10,000 steps.We had a lot in common, having experienced what some might describe as all-American upbringings.I was never in want of attention; in fact, I probably received more because I was one of the few Asian students in school.I could be embarrassed by my parents’ broken English at parent-teacher conferences, but what boy isn’t embarrassed by his parents?

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