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When your parents come to visit, expect mutterings under their breath about how famished they are.

When you’re dating a Latino, your whole sense of time is adjusted. Latinos take their offspring absolutely everywhere. My parents left my sister and me in a hotel room in Thailand in the 80s while they went to watch a show.

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And she spurted out a schedule based on GMT – “Guatemala Maybe Time”. I looked out the window a couple of times to see if the traffic light had turned green yet. Nothing against street sweepers or mature men, but it’s just not really my style. You’ll end up covering yourself up to avoid these outbursts. We’re not talking burkini here, but don’t even think of going topless on a beach in Europe… Whether you’re the one who has to speak in Spanish, or they talk in English, there will come a time when communication breaks down due to the language barrier.

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So if your own family and friends ask you to pipe down when you’re having a conversation don’t be surprised.

When you have to fight to be heard, you’ll naturally crank up the volume. But nothing has the power to split your mind wide open and turn your universe upside down like dating a Latino.

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