This is one of those things that can be extremely effective wielded properly – it can shoot through the roof, make you physically intimidating even to men twice your size, and communicate “I mean business” to anyone and everyone like nothing else really can (although it can also send you directly to creepy guy land if you aren’t careful how you deploy it).Early on in life, I learned that not everyone had this ability – in fact, few did.Did you know that eye contact is like Goldilocks and the three bears? Too much eye contact is instinctively felt to be rude, hostile and condescending; and in a business context, it may also be perceived as a deliberate intent to dominate, intimidate, belittle, or make “the other” feel at a disadvantage.(Which was how Goldilocks felt when the bears caught her eating their porridge).Eye contact is so powerful a force because it is connected with humans’ earliest survival patterns.Whether it’s shifty-eyed guilt or wide-eyed innocence, we automatically assign enormous credence to the signals we give and get when we look into each other in the eyes.So unless you have in mind doing one of those things, it’s better to avoid too much eye contact.
That same high school English teacher of mine described this as something you either have, or you don’t...
at least for me personally, it’s something I’ve always had (from the day I was born, according to the stories).
However, in the interest of giving it a good crack – because it’s an awesome power if you can attain it – I’d like to try.
• The biggest body language myth about liars is that they avoid eye contact.
While some liars (most often, children) find it difficult to lie while looking directly at you, many liars, especial the most brazen, actually overcompensate to "prove" that they are not lying by making too much eye contact and holding it too long.