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It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.

Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.

Such intimacy is built on communication and friendship and leads to deep affection and a satisfying sex life.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

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