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What if you’re not rich enough for Seeking Arrangement or Personal Dating Assistants, but still want to bribe your way to a date. “Online dating is a superficial game” says Carrot Dating, but promises “With Carrot Dating, you won’t get rejected before you even get a chance.

Convince singles that spending time with you is worth it by making them an offer that they simply cannot refuse” It’s like The Godfather – but you know, for lonely, desperate creeps.

You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.

You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.

Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?

Do you spend most of your free time staring daggers at the “in a relationship” status on your one-true-love’s Facebook?

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Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.Want to ruin someone else’s relationship without the messy business of actually getting involved?Check out some of the worst and weirdest dating and sex apps out there – for when OKCupid just isn’t going to cut it.Apparently boasting hundreds of members at universities across the UK, skint students can sign up to be “sugar babies” to either “sugar mamas” or “sugar daddies”.In exchange for a relationship (80% of Seeking Arrangement dates involve sex, but the founder Brandon Wade denies it’s a form of prostitution), cash-strapped sugar babies are lavished with gifts and cash allowances which average at £5,000 a month. If you have trouble with giving out satisfying oral sex, you should probably lick your phone instead.

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