Dating your husband during separation

Three years ago, when I was 56, I suggested to my husband that he move out of our house in New Jersey. As he was settling into his new apartment in Manhattan, he called. We would stay separated for a year and, somehow, together, figure out this whole thing.

Sometimes, emerging from a divorce, it takes a while for things to add up. We pledged that we would always be friends, and our family would survive. After a few minutes, as we were about to hang up, he told me that he was "seeing someone.""Seeing someone." Two words that splintered my head into speechlessness, followed by a dizzying internal stream of, What about "Our family would survive"?

It was October; he promised that we, and our two sons, would still spend that Christmas together as a family.

We picked at tuna and scallops, washed down with wine for him and vodka for me. A nice man who, in just 90 minutes, unwittingly gave me back myself.

Instead of telling the kids we are still a family, I say we still are family.

The slight change in wording explains why dad doesn’t eat dinner at the house every night or get dressed in his old bedroom anymore but still shows up for family birthdays and has the same last name.

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Most suggestions are beneficial to my health (plan a trip) while others are ridiculous (move to a new town) and all seem to reflect what they’d do in my situation even though we’re not similar at all.

Little things like none of the windows working properly or the washer and dryer only handling one towel at a time.

The ex and I split in September 2017 but I didn’t find a place and move out until December of that year.

My go-to reply is the ability to gorge on food without gaining a pound.

It’s not quite a superpower but ask any man over 40, and they’d choose super metabolism over super hearing every damn time.

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